Friday 6 August 2010

In gauze

Sometimes... life is obviously hard, definitely exhausting, and unreasonably complicated. The weather feels colder than usual, and the wind blows too fast. It's raining all day, and that look... it's gloomy as ever. You even forget what a smile looks like. The only feeling left is that tiring whisper far far away in the corner of your heart. Yes, life can be scary sometimes.

But then, you engrave that little magic to yourself: stay strong... stay strong. You struggle yourself suppressing the growing emotion inside. You try so hard to smile. Day by day passes by. And there it is, the emptiness in your heart is growing larger and larger. You let the spirit in you withered. And one day you wake up finding yourself so much in pain.

Then again, you graft another magic to yourself: I'm okay... I'm okay. Every time that confusing emotion burning inside, you tell yourself: it's nothing. You hold that mighty pride of yours so high, to the point that you don't let your inner voice heard. And as expected, the emptiness is much much larger than before. Somehow, you are lost. You start questioning small thing about your existence, your value, your worth. And still, you are in pain.

You know you are not okay. You know you sometimes are not that strong. Yet, you have to present that friendly face of yours. You do want to make people happy. You don't want to let them feeling empty nor in pain like what you are feeling now. You do try your best to be okay. You start building a huge wall covering your heart. You screen a lot of things. You filter a lot of things. And yet, you question yourself: why is the sadness still lingering inside?

You know... once upon a time, there is a little bird whispers ... one thing that can bring warmth to that cold soul is what the human calls as "hope". Fortunately, even a tiny bit of hope can brighten up your day. And hope can be derived from dream. So, do you still have some dreams left? Do you even still dare to dream? Are you even still alive? Or do you still daydream that there will be someone going to fix you?

Ah, good news! There will be. But I think... with that high pride you have, you might want to consider fixing yourself before even meeting that special one you want to cherish. And yes, you are way way cooler when you have your act together.

...that gloomy face of yours vibrates a strange frequency.
It somehow makes my head feels so dizzy.
So please respect yourself by being the best you.
And for what it's worth, please be happy.


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