Saturday, 26 April 2008

Blooming

Horeeee, akhirnya lewat masa umur 22... dengan kata lain, jatah umur berkurang satu tahun...
Hmm, dah cukup belum nih bekal menuju negeri akhirat?


Ntah kenapa,,, emang selalu kerasa belum cukup... [mungkin karena nyadar masih sering melakukan kesalahan-kesalahan gak perlu... rolleyes]. Udah tau itu teh salah... tapi dengan gak tau dirinya tetep aja dilakukan, duh... :tsk:

Kalo tahun lalu mah pas milad teh yang kepikiran adalah "pengen nemu jati diri".... kalau tahun sebelumnya... teracuni salah satu judul buku "biarkan bidadari surga cemburu padamu"... kalau tahun sebelumnya, tahun bersejarah memulai umur kepala dua, yang kelintas adalah " tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak, udah tua gening Rachma teh, harus dewasaaa :inis:"


Kalo untuk tahun ini mah, jargon yang terbentang adalah,

"biarkan bidadari surga hormat padamu"

karena setelah dipikir-pikir... kalimat "biarkan bidadari surga cemburu padamu" teh asa kurang tepat... [maaf, no offense untuk pengarang... peace yak mrgreen]. Apa coba gunanya membuat makhluk lain cemburu, apalagi ini dari jenis female-related, hehehe. Women are extremely scary when they are in jealousy.... :takot:
hihihi, teu nyambung sebenerna mah biggrin.


Tapi emang banyak hal yang ngingetin, Rachma teh emang udah tua, heuheuheu, jadi... mau tidak mau emang harus lebih dewasa, lebih bijak. Kalo bunga mah, udah saatnya mekar, jangan kuncup mulu... [ini mah terinspirasi musim semi, hihihi biggrin].


Yang mau dibenahi beberapa waktu ke depan, mudah-mudahan masih ada umur:

-Kalibrasi
Yap, pengen mengalibrasi hati dan pikiran... pengen bener-bener menapaki jalan nu dipikaridho ku Allah... Mu ngapain coba senang-senang nurutin hawa nafsu di dunia, tapi pas dipanggil di persidangan Allah, ternyata timbangannya berat ke sebelah kiri.
Duh, naudzubillah....
Ini termasuk mengalibrasi hawa-hawa ill feel sama cowok, kekekek... mrgreen. Emang sering kelintas sih, karunya pisan dia teh disuudhan-in sama Rachma.
*dia refers to sapapun cowok :P*


Pengen bener-bener ngabebenah sholat, terutama yang wajib, pleus yang sunahnya juga... pengen lebih rutin lagi shaum sunnah, istiqomah sholat malemna oge [nabung amal... mrgreen]. Oya, sekarang Rachma lagi punya hobi baru, baca Qur'an pleus terjemahnya dah kaya baca novel. Maaf ya Allah, bukannya Rachma mensejajarkan derajat Qur'an sama Novel. Tapi lebih ke... menikmati flow isi Al-Qur'an, dan Rachma mendapati kalo Al-Qur'an itu seru buat dipelajari ;). [Ketauan iyeu teh, dulu-dulu mah kalo baca teh nya baca we.... jarang pake acara baca terjemahnya... hihihihi]. Qur'an teh udah kaya teman dikala lonely, huehehehe. Karena kalo lagi baca Al-Qur'an itu... suka kelintas, kan disamping kiri kanan teh aya malaikat yah, sigana malaikat mah udah yang khusyuuu banget kalo diperdengarkan ayat Al-Qur'an... da emang mereka mah makhluk yang selalu taat. Suka ujug-ujug terharu, dan malu sendiri. Cenah manusia teh khalifah di muka bumi, tapi ibadahna masih........duh, malu ah. Dan kalo baca Al-Qur'an itu kerasa banget kaya ngobrol... [segini lonelynya meureun yah, hihihi :D], jadi kalo baca lama-lama teh... suka aja, jadi obat penat, jadi kerasa refresh lagi. Cuman kalo pas baca yang bagian "yaa ayyuhalladziina aamanu", wonder dan suka deg-degan... Rachma termasuk yang dipanggil itu gak ya... duh, pengen... .


Tapi sekarang teh lagi bermasalah mindah waktu sholat malem. Lamun di Indo mah pan sholat malem teh jam 3 jam 4, ya,,, deket-deket shubuh lah. Ayeuna mah, susah pisan bangun sebelum shubuh teh, hihihi, kalo ngeset alarm pun ya bangun buat matiin alarm aja razz. Jadi sholat malemnya sesudah shalat isya... asa kurang afdol, tapi yah, kalo niatna lurus mah, afdol-afdol aja kali yak mrgreen. Padahal bercita-cita kalo udah punya suami teh, pengen ngebangunin beliau buat shalat malem bareng. Ini mah bangun deket shubuhnya aja susah pisan, heuheuehue.... Groningen kondusif buat tidur sih... [pembenaran razz].


Kadang suka nyindir diri sendiri: "sholat malem tuh jangan cuma karena ada butuhnya aja Neng, harus jadi habit itu... kan dalam rangka meningkatkan derajat diri mrgreen". Pernah denger gak, kalo filosofi shalat malem itu seperti layaknya undangan jamuan. Jadi tiap malem itu, Allah mengadakan jamuan [ini maksudnya jamuan pahala kali yak, pleus banyak bonus kaya maqbulnya do'a, hehehe]. Harusnya kan sumangat pisan itu, soalnya kalo ada jamuan makan gratis, pasti semangat banget :D, ini dikasi kesempatan jamuan pahala banyak... kan harusnya lebih semangat lagi ;), secara kan itu teh emang poin yang dikumpulin buat bekal menuju negeri akhirat cool.


Kalo dari segi hafalan, ya pengen nambah hafalan Qur'an sama hadist, pleus do'a-do'a. Tapi kadang Rachma suka mikir juga, kenapa ya mesti hafal hadist?... bukannya yang penting mah esensinya yak? Tapi kalo bisa apal emang nilai pleus sih, jadi kalo debat sama orang rese yang mainnya pengen pake hadist mulu, bisa defense, hihihi [luruskan niat Neng mrgreen]. Kalau do'a mah... ya biar nambah-nambah atuh, biar bukan cuman lafal basmallah aja yang diucapkan, jadi kan catatan amalnya lebih gaya gitu, huehehe. Udah gitu, demi mebiasakan anak berdo'a sebelum melakukan sesuatu, berarti kan Mamanya mesti afal tuh do'a-do'a. Kan anak mah suka ikut-ikutan ya, jadi kalo Mamanya biasa membacakan do'a, walo dia saat itu belum ngerti apa artinya, ya minimal dibiasain dulu gitu wink.


-Jadi cewek
hehehe, emang selama ini apa?
heueheheu
Banyak hal yang sifatnya cewek yang Rachma tinggalin sejak masuk ITB. Alasannya... sibuk atuh, mahasiswi ITB tea... tugas seabrek kan razz, mana sempet nyentuh lagi hal-hal feminin, hihihi. Yang Rachma soroti di sini yang ada hubungannya ma cooking, bakery, knitting, and sewing. Tapi kalo menjahit mah tidak feasible diteruskan di sini...[males atuh kalo mesti beli mesin jahit di dieu mah].
Euh, pokokna ITB mah berhasil membuat Rachma jauh-jauh dari "dunia cewek", terus aja ngagugulung text book :hilo:. Padahal Rachma suka banget kalo dah main-main sama benang dan jarum. Abisna bisa berkarya menuangkan imajinasi eta teh, biar barang-barang di sekeliling jadi lebih "lucu". Hayah, pokokna kalo udah berkaitan sama yang "lucu" teh... harus lebih kuat iman, hihihi razz. Di kantor status sih sciencetist, kalo dah di luar jam kerja mah... nya harus jadi cewek mrgreen. Tapi sekarang teh, udah ada akulturasi antara bereksperimen di lab sama masak di dapur, hehehe. Jadi kalo lagi masak, kepikiran kaya... ini kalo nambahin segini, konsentrasinya berapa yak, kalo api segini, iodinnya nguap gak ya... kalo dibakar suhu segini, kandungan karbon yang dihasilkan berapa ya... kan karsinogenik tuh, kalo ini segini itu segitu pas gak ya perbandingan fraksi molnya... hueheheheheh, masak apa praktikum Neng? razz


-Riset
Harus banyak sabar sama riset ini mah, hihihih. Alhamdulillah supervisorna subhanallah baik pisan [semoga Allah menurunkan hidayah-Nya pada beliau mrgreen]. Udah keliatan kalo beliau teh mulai berkecenderunagn seneng meng-hire orang Indo, hehehe. Demi bisa berlibur dengan tenang ke Indo juga sih, harus bener dulu risetnya wink. Yosh, ganbatte ne...!!!


-Keuangan
Makin ke sini Rachma emang ngerasa makin tua, hahahaha. Semua, yang nyangkut uang,,, diitung untung ruginya, kekekek. Ini kayaknya mulai terinduksi jalan pikir Mama kalo dah nyangkut keuangan: investasi sebanyak-banyaknya :ahaha:. Mama tampak semangat sekali memanage uang Rachma, hihihi, dasar sang manager, Rachma mah iya-iya aja deh, heuheuehu. Lagi mikir-mikir untuk invest di wiraswasta. Yeah, we'll see lah. Dengan prinsip Mama yang unik: invest di bisnis mah jangan mikir dulu keuntungan, ini mah sarana belajar aja, kalo untung ya alhamdulillah, kalo rugi ya ikhlaskan. Wess, Mama gaya, heuheuheu. Rachma jadi teracuni untuk invest di mana-mana, hahahah. Yang jelas mah kudu dibayar dulu zakat ma shadaqahnya. Tapi, yang lucu itu... kalo dah mulai mikir invest dalam bentuk rumah, suka rada males. Soalnya kepikirannya gini: ngapain punya suami atuh, kalo rumah juga mesti Rachma yang mikirin, hehehe razz.


Lagi mikir juga gimana bisa bikin gaji tuh manfaat buat banyak orang, bukan cuma buat Rachma aja... [inget Neng, harta mah moal dicandak ka akherat, nu manfaat mah amal... amal... Hidup amal!! heuheuheu, yang namanya amal jadi terkenal, hihihi ;))]


-Gain weight
Harus pokoknya, harus nambah berat badan. Walo susehna pisaaaan :tsk:, padahal Rachma udah makan lebih dari porsi cewek, hahahah razz, tapi susah naik mudah turunnya, kekekek. Banyak pikiran cenah itu teh, tapi da Rachma mah emang gak suka kalo gak mikirin sesuatu teh, hihihi. Targetnya 45 aja. Prestasi sigana lamun bisa nyampe kadinya, heuheuheu. Wonder sebenernya, insulin yang diproduksi dalam tubuh teh banyak pisan gitu, ampe metabolismenya cepet pisan....:ha?:


-Ik spreek Nederland
Yeee, pokokna mah pengen bisa ngomong in Dutch mrgreen. Sekarang udah mulai kerasa "feel" dan excited buat mempelajari bahasa yang satu ini.... Biasanya kalo dah ada excitednya, lebih semangat buat mempelajari sesuatu ampe tuntas, hehe. Walopun belum sampe ke tahap nganggap bahasa Belanda itu "lucu", hihihi, kecuali kalo liat anak kecil berdarah Indo ngomong Dutch, emang lucu sih razz.


-Jodoh
Hehehe, kadang Rachma mikir,,, jangan-jangan ... permintaan do'a yang membludak di kerajaan langit adalah permintaan jodoh, hihihihi. Hmm,,, yah, we'll see deh. Rachma yakin bakal ketemu jodoh pada saat yang tepat, dengan orang yang tepat. Pokoknya husnudhan sama Allah aja, biar gak pusing mrgreen.


Mmm... apalagi ya... yah gambaran resolusinya kira-kira kaya gitu, intinya mah pengen memperbaiki diri, gak pengen buang-buang waktu percuma... pengen nabung banyak bekal buat negeri akhirat.


Rachma ngucapin banyak makasih pada yang masih ingat milad Rachma, terharuuuu :eheh:. Thank you soooo much for brightening my days wink. Jazakumullah khoiran katsiraa...semoga Allah membalas dengan yang lebih baik dan lebih banyak... Amin ya Rabbal 'alamiin.



Ya Allah, Ya Rahman... Ya Rahim...
Anugerahkanlah selalu kasih dan sayang-Mu pada kami
Jagalah kami untuk senantiasa ada dalam keridhaan-Mu
Jadikanlah kami bagian dari orang-orang yang beruntung di hari pembalasan
Izinkanlah kami menjadi bagian dari orang-orang yang dapat melihat wajah-Mu
Ampunilah kami ya Allah
Ampunilah kami

Monday, 21 April 2008

Doktrin

Rachma kan pernah cerita ya tentang "doktrin tukang beca", nah kemaren itu muncul lagi doktrin baru, "doktrin domba", dan "doktrin ayam" mrgreen. Tapi lagi males ngejelasin itu ah... jadi, silakan tebak sendiri apa maksud doktrin-doktrin itu, hehehe.


Hari senin,,,mmm, banyak yang ingin dikerjakan, rencana mu di lab ampe malem juga. Lagi males pulang ke housing cepet-cepet. Pengennya... pulang ke housing itu dah capeeee banget, jadi gak mikir yang macem-macem, langsung tidur aja razz. Waktu hari Sabtu itu ke Den haag, niat sampingannya adalah demi mencari kesibukan dan membiarkan diri lelah karena perjalanan, biar gak ngelamun terus [housing YB kondusif sekali buat melamun :P]. Tapi ternyata nyampe sana teh ketemu sama anak-anak kecil yang imut-imut dan lucu-lucu. Hayah, jadi terinduksi deui ini mah, pengen punya anak, pengen denger ada yang manggil "Mama", yang dengan gaya innocentnya ... manja-manja minta diperhatiin. Alhasil, walo cape banget nyampe housing, tetep aja kepikiran sesuatu :)).


Diakui ato gak, walopun ceritanya udah sembuh dari patah hati :P, tetep aja ada hal-hal yang bikin Rachma trauma [meni segitunya :))]. Walo Rachma tau, yang namanya generalisir itu gak bener adanya, tetep aja ada hawa-hawa yang menghantui,,, bahwa yang namanya cowok itu berpotensi bikin sakit hati. Bahkan untuk cowo yang Rachma kenal sebagai seseorang yang subhanallah pisan sholehnya, tetep aja hal-hal kaya gitu kelintas. Kadang Rachma mikir... ini teh fear factor kapan ilangnya ya... rolleyes, jadi ngeri sendiri :)). Udah gitu teh, kasus-kasus yang Rachma temui akhir-akhir ini malah membuat Rachma tambah ill feel ma cowok razz. Kadang Rachma shocked, "ih dia teh bukannya ikhwan pisan... kok bisa ya begitu?"

rolleyes
Jadinya males berurusan -terutama yang nyangkut privasi-, dan kerasa aja takut buat deket mrgreen. Jadi pas kemaren ditanya "bla..bla..bla.. langkah kongkrit ke depannya apa?"... kerasa banget otak hang :)), dan ujug-ujug cape aja [padahal mikirnya belum, heuheu mrgreen], so I simply answered "I don't know"... karena emang gak tau, gak pengen mikirin, gak pengen terbebani hal-hal kaya gini, udah kebayang aja flash back masa lalu :)), terus jadi ngeri razz.


Makanya, akhir-akhir ini sumangad pisan baca-baca psikologi, I have to be the doctor-in-need for my self mrgreen. Menenggelamkan diri menekuni sesuatu. I do need time to find my true self...membangun kembali fondasi untuk berdiri kokoh di atas kaki sendiri...rolleyes, yeah, who knows that itchy-thing like this takes a long time to recover. Lukanya sih sembuh, tapi bekasnya... hoho, ampe kapan ya ini ....


Doktrin paling ampuh di antaranya... ketika seorang temen Rachma nyeletuk kaya gini:
"Aku tuh ya, kalo punya pacar terus putus, gak akan sedih, melainkan bahagia. Kenapa? karena itu kan nunjukkin kalo cowok tadi tuh bukan jodoh aku, ngapain coba hubungan lama-lama kalo ternyata bukan jodoh? Udah gitu, itu artinya aku bakalan ketemu sama orang yang lebih baik dari cowok tadi. Lagian, yang rugi itu kan sebenernya cowoknya, coba... bisa-bisanya dia nyia-nyia-in cewek high quality kaya aku?"


Heuheuheu, pas dengernya... asli Rachma ketawa, pede pisan. Tapi... doktrin itu manjur buat menghibur diri, hueheheh. Walo tanpa disadari jadi mendoktrin diri menjadi eksklusif, atau kalo bahasa halusnya mah "terjaga", terjaga dari hal-hal gak penting dan gak perlu, malah kadang jadi terkesan sombong :). Yeah, but who cares with what people say, since they will not help solving the problem either twisted . Kalo ada yang nge-ym gak penting, pasti yang kelintas "apa sih nih orang, ngeganggu aja" :)), apalagi kalo udah ada suara telpon bunyi-bunyi, "ih, males deh, berisik, udah tau Rachma sibuk... pleus lagi males ngobrol gak jelas", heuheuheu =)), terus kalo ada sms, "udah tau Rachma jarang ngecek HP, ya gak akan dibales atuh", heheheh, ampe jadi itungan gitu... "sayang pulsa ah", atau kalo gak "sayang waktu, sayang tenaga" [seakan-akan mencet tombol accept ngeluarin berpuluh ribu kalori :P], pokokna mah jadi skeptis ajah, gak mau peduli, hihi. Nyadar sih, itu teh tega nian, tapi da lagi males atuh... jadi ya, begitulah.


Kadang ada yang seenak-enaknya komen: "jangan berlarut-larut dalam cinta"... Yah, akar masalahnya ini mah bukan itu. Walo udah mendoktrin diri untuk "cool, calm, confident", ya tetep aja ada saat-saat di mana lonely menyerang dan semerta-merta merobohkan segala doktrin yang dah dibangun, hihihi. Walo ada hal-hal yang terkristalkan kaya "ya, yang namanya kebahagiaan itu mahal harganya". Dampaknya? hmm... misal dalam menanggapi kecenderungan cowok untuk menyeleksi calon istri, terlintas "ya, dia berhak untuk berpetualang sampe dia mantep milih seseorang, itu manusiawi. Sapa tau emang jalan kebahagiaan hidupnya seperti itu, jadi gak pantes dong kalo Rachma jadi duri dalam daging. Tapi siapa juga yang mau jadi bahan main-main kaya gitu, sok aya-aya wae. " rolleyes... Ada juga yang pernah bilang, "yang namanya selingkuh itu kan kalo udah nikah, kalo sebelum nikah ya bukan selingkuh, itu tahap seleksi...", dih, ngedenger itu yang ada malah pengen muntah, seriusan. Seenak-enaknya cowok nebar jaring, ngedeketin banyak cewek, dan liat yang nyangkut di mana. Amat sangat ill feel sekali banget pokoknyah. How can a man like that be a father then?


Doktrin lain yang lagi berakar: "Allah mah maha adil, perempuan yang baik itu untuk laki-laki yang baik pula". Ketika ada banyak hal yang terlihat hambar dan hampa makna, menggantungkan harapan pada Allah emang jadi oase penyejuk hati. Ketika banyak fenomena yang tak lagi menghargai saling percaya dan saling menghormati, banyak mengingat Allah emang jadi obat tersendiri, jadi pegangan... "Allah senantiasa menepati janjinya".


-lagi ngitung mundur ke berkurangnya jatah umur, amat sangat kangen rumah-

Thursday, 17 April 2008

Bade iraha?

Kembang layung tinggarupay
ruag rieug kabeulit angin
pucukna rancag
putikna ligar
tingbureuleuk ngahariring

Kembangna mekar sataman
seungitna seukeut, hihiliwiran
beureum bodas, koneng kayas
estu mager hate nu welas
matak waas ngahelas

Nyandingan nu dipiasih
ngantosan nu dipimelang
aya sieun nu nyimbutan
prasangka kokolebatan
gegebegan nyorang jalan
rantag runtug milang jaman

Gening enya mangsa teh seueur tikungan
angin oge aya kadar gelebugna
hujan nyorang babanjiran
guludug boborelakan

iraha atuh anjeun teh mulang
aya beja nu kedah dimomolekeun
aya warta nu kedah dikedalkeun
aya jangji nu kedah dicarioskeun
estu alim mapay gawir
alim mapay lamping
lamun heg teu disarengan


-kangen Bandung-

Faktor F

Hasil ngisi -lagi, pertanyaan-pertanyaan gak penting [orang sok sibuk, 2008]- di web Tickle, hasilnya kaya gini:







About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test

Love Conquers All is your Romantic Pattern

At its core, the romantic pattern called Love Conquers All, is romantic, triumphant, and full of courage to face yourself with honesty.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A tug of war between the desire for the love of your life, and a fear of commitment.

You may also find that challenges come from family and society — even yourself. Do loved ones disapprove of your partner, raise concerns you hadn't previously cared that much about?

Turning points may also stem from previous obligations at work, or in promises you've made to others. Do you reschedule or delay plans with your partner because you feel the need to honor responsibilities at the office? Do you prioritize taking care of a friend in need over the needs of your mate?

Ambition to be loyal to loved ones, move ahead at work, improve your home, see the world — these are all good things. But sometimes, they take precedence over your love life — whether you are conscious of it or not.


About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test

How your romantic pattern affects you and your relationships
Whether you realize it or not, you might be slightly at odds with yourself when it comes to matters of love. On the one hand, you might be ready for the love of your life. On the other hand, you might want to protect yourself from a potential hurt should that love not work out. Do you view love suspiciously at times? Avoid the traditional trappings of romance — flowers, chocolates, and Valentine's Day? Perhaps you've had your heart broken one too many times, or you so desperately want a true love, that you are almost afraid of failing on your way to it.

At times, you can be fiercely independent. At the same time, painful memories of a past relationship, or aspirations to success in other areas of your life, might make you less of a risk-taker in the land of love. Do you have tunnel vision unless a dramatic event grabs your attention? Maybe you equate settling down with the right person as a one-way ticket to the retirement community. You may avoid relationships altogether, or you may prefer to keep them casual. Do you have a reputation for being a player? Do you date lots of people at once, preventing any one relationship from going too far? Or do you tend to make excuses when it comes to romance, placing work or other obligations in between you and a potential lover?

On one level, your pattern is driven by an underlying faith that "the one" is out there waiting for you. On another level, you might not want to search for it because you don't want to fail in finding it. Your romantic pattern is fed by fear: fear of commitment, fear of settling down, fear of rejection, fear of what other people may think. If you're partner comes from a different background — social, ethnic, economic, you might be afraid to introduce them to friends.

Fortunately, love is stronger than whatever challenges you might face. Though you may subconsciously sabotage aspects of a relationship to protect yourself, love will likely prove stronger than whatever challenges you face. When given the choice to walk away or take a chance with a soul mate, you will take the chance when it is right. And remember, you are not bound to this pattern. Once you understand it and the role it plays in your life, you can make the most of it, or you can decide it's no longer working for you and that it's time to move on.


About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test

How to avoid common mistakes
Love could be staring you in the face, and you might not even see it. The biggest pitfall for you is letting your issues get in the way of a good thing. You need to expand your vision and consider the big picture. If some experience or situation has soured you on love, or has made it too unbearably perfect to stand, it's time to address it! Confidence in yourself and optimism in the future will keep you from missing out on something truly special.

It's okay to have standards and rules, but make sure you haven't built a fortress around yourself. Our values change as we grow older. When's the last time you rethought the direction you're heading in life? Revaluate what's most important to you — not to others, not to the dreams you had when you were 15 or 20 or 31 — what's important to you now, at this moment, at this age. Don't be afraid to change the priorities in your life. You get score points to following previous life dreams if they no longer represent your current hopes and desires.


About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test

How to recognize someone who's right for you
Romance for you begins with a sudden, unexpected rush. It's probably a gut feeling you have about someone that you subsequently squelch or question. Maybe the person is your opposite, which is why their contrasting characteristics jar you into noticing them. Or perhaps you share such a strong, common, interest, you can't believe they've finally arrived after all of these years.

Someone who's right for you will probably show up unexpectedly, but the surprise will get your attention. Once you're looking, prepare to be impressed. Did you realize your quiet colleague was also an accomplished musician? Has it suddenly dawned on you that your best friend is attracted to you? You have more fun with your dentist than anyone you've met in ages. Your next-door neighbor cooks like a four-star chef. Who knew?

Of course, you won't see anyone who's right for you, if you're not looking. So lose the shades! If you're dating multiple people at once, why not whittle it down to the one who really interests you? Maybe you should be single for awhile. That might make it easier for someone to approach you. Haven't dated in a year? It's time to figure out why. Look at how you're spending your time. Is one area of your life taking up more than its fair share? Maybe you've met someone you want to be with, but there's some obstacle between you and that person. This will be a true test of your devotion. Overcome, and you've formed a deeper bond.

It's okay to be picky! Maybe your reluctance has protected you from bad mistakes, but maybe it's prevented you from seeing a true love standing right in front of your face. Now that you understand your pattern, you're equipped with knowledge that can keep you from missing a good opportunity. You can take charge of your romantic pattern and make it work for you, or move on. Whatever you decide, your independence and courage will take you far in life and in love. Indeed, in your happy ending, Love Conquers All.


About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test



Writing your Own Script for Happiness

While the patterns are universal, your specific experiences within them are not. Use your romantic pattern to map out where you've been, and where you want to go. Take an honest look at your past relationships.

Want to make your self-analysis seem more real? Then write down the characteristics you share with your romantic pattern. Ask a friend who has known you through a number of relationships to help you identify parts about your pattern you don't see because they are too close to you still.

Finally, be truthful with yourself. Have the courage to face what you really want in life. But before you allow yourself to default to the aspirations you had 5 years ago, figure out if your goals have changed. When you see the patterns emerging on paper in front of you, you can make a conscious decision to continue with a given pattern, or to change direction. If you are brave enough to face your desires, and are honest enough to share those dreams with your partner, you are well on your way to something you've been waiting for your entire life — true love.

You create your own destiny. Knowing what your romantic pattern is gives you the power to embrace it or move on. And ultimately, knowing your romantic pattern will allow you to more fully enjoy the most amazing of human relationship — love.


About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test



The Other Romantic Patterns and How They Affect Us

Now you know how your romantic pattern has played out in your life. But, at some point, you may be affected by another pattern. That's because the elements of these patterns are universal and traits of one pattern are not always so far from the characteristics of another.

As circumstances surrounding your relationships change, you may start to see shades of the other patterns bleed into your life. With that in mind, here they are, ranked in order of how influential they currently are to you. Once you understand them, you can recognize their hold on you, and make a conscious decision to stick with them, or break away.


Second Chances

The Second Chances pattern is rooted in nostalgia — whether you're longing for the ex you haven't seen in a year, or are reminiscing about the crush you never connected with 10 years ago.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A longing to recapture someone or something that can reconnect you to a time in your life when love was a larger focus.

Whether you do it consciously or not, most people who migrate towards the Second Chances pattern either want to revise a past decision, confront someone they couldn't at the time, or revert back to a specific point in time.

You scored an 8 on the Second Chances story:






The Mentor and the Protégé

The Mentor and the Protégé is a romantic pattern that's about more than love for love's sake. In it, love grows out of deeper need to learn and understand other aspects of your life through the teachings of someone else.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: Love isn't the only thing you're after.

You want power, success, attention, maybe even fame. You want to be recognized, doted on, and adored for your talents. And the object of your desire is the person best suited to provide you with these things — a boss, a mentor, a teacher, or a troubled genius.

Similarly, the object of your affection can take the place of an absent parent or role model, providing security and nurturance. Whatever the reason, you're likely to feel a boost to your self-image when you're with this person.

You scored an 8 on the The Mentor and the Protégé story:






Love vs. Honor

Love vs. Honor is the most dramatic pattern of all — defined by an innate tug of war between what you want to do and what you think you should do.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: There is something coming between you and love.

Perhaps it's a religious conviction, a previous commitment, family, patriotic duty, or deep belief that good things only come at a terrible price.

You tend to put others' needs before your own. Romance is not your number one priority, though in the back of your mind you are holding out for a soul mate.

You scored an 8 on the Love vs. Honor story:






Loving Too Much

The Loving Too Much pattern stems from your overflowing love and hope. However, it can be muddied by misguided feelings, expectations and sometimes, an unrequited desire.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: You're most attracted to people who are usually just out of reach.

These people are all the more alluring for it — like those early crushes on teen idols. The less available your partner is, both emotionally and physically, the more desirable they become.

You daydream, and your imagination fills in the details that reality hasn't provided. Do you ever seek out indirect contact with this person, visiting his workplace or getting to know his friends? Do you find yourself dreaming about marriage after a second date, or perhaps after a quick affair?

You scored a 7 on the Loving Too Much story:






Romantic Rescue

Love is all-powerful in the Romantic Rescue pattern. It is the catalyst for change within yourself as well as the means through which you discover if your partner is who you want and need them to be.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: A desire to save your partner from his own self-destruction, or the desire to be saved by someone for the same reason.

Some people adopt the hero role in this pattern — nursing an ailing partner back to health, saving them from a string of previously destructive relationships, maybe even saving them from a physical danger. Others cast themselves as those in need of rescue — relying on their partners to swoop in and save them from whatever ill-fate's been visited upon them, either real or imagined.

You scored a 7 on the Romantic Rescue story:






Rags to Riches

Cinderella is the archetype of your Rags to Riches pattern, a story that's been retold throughout history in books, movies, poems, and songs. For you, love is more important than expectations, stereotypes and what other people think is good for you. Ah, the American Dream of self-determination. It's the stuff from which true fairytales are made.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: Feeling the need to get your due.

Have you or your partner been discriminated against? Have people done their best to keep you apart? People with the strength of character to pursue their loves despite obstacles and adversity often find themselves in this pattern.

You scored a 5 on the Rags to Riches story:






Establishing Independence

The Establishing Independence pattern that grips you begins with desire — not only for someone different, but for exciting life changes as well.

But, here's the recurring pattern you may see in your relationships: You are looking for a shift in the types of people you pursue and how you define yourself relative to other people.

These transformations can come in the package of another person — perhaps a soul mate — but more likely someone you've selected because they're different from the people or partners you are accustomed to.

You scored a 1 on the Establishing Independence story:



About Your Romantic Pattern
What Your Romantic Pattern Says About You
How to Avoid Mistakes
Finding Someone Good For You
Writing Your Script for Happiness
The Other Romantic Patterns
History of The Test



History of The Test

Why This Test?
Throughout the history of our site, users have written to thank us for helping them — helping them understand aspects of their personalities they previously had been unable to pinpoint. And as they took more and more of our tests, they came to understand more and more about themselves and how they relate to others.

When we thought about how else we could help people, we wanted to find a subject that was universal — a subject that intrigues everyone. What we came up with was the latest test to arm you with a knowledge that you can put to immediate use in your life, and more specifically, your love life.

Stories about love are universal throughout the world. The general ideas and motivations behind all the romantic patterns you'll find in different cultures in different countries echo the 8 themes you'll see in this test.

How is this possible? How do we know this? For years, researchers across various disciplines have been tracing the subject of recurring life themes, stories, and roles. Take for example, anthropologist Joseph Campbell. His book, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" traces the theme and role of "Hero." What he found was that whether you are studying the myths from the African savannah, the European forests, the Asian mountains, or the American cities, there is one hero archetype. This character is a constant in what he represents, in the stories he plays out.

Love is a Universal Theme
Another great, cross-cultural theme is that of love. It is constant, as is how it plays out in people's lives. Want to know about how you love? What your relationships say about you? How you find yourself in relationships at all? Then take a look around you. Though specific details about how you met someone, what they're like, and what you're like together are unique, there are 8 main themes that help explain some of the overarching elements of any romantic relationship.

Have you ever identified with a friend who's embarked on a relationship similar to one you've experienced? Do you wonder why you identify so strongly with the heroines in some movies or books over others? That's probably because no matter where you come from, no matter what your background, your relationships, current and past, can be mapped to the same 8 themes of love that have ruled people since the beginning of time. They're stories you can see in the Bible, you can see in history, and you can see all around you played out by friends, families and yourself.

By recognizing the elements of the story, placing your specific details into the template, you can better understand your own romantic pattern, and can determine whether it is a good pattern for you to pursue at any point in time. After looking at research, looking at available sources on the topic, and thinking a lot about relationship issues, we created this test for you.

Love does indeed, make the world go 'round. And your romantic pattern is more universal than you think.

What Love Does to Us
The human being is the most rational creature on the planet. It is our ability to reason that raises us to the highest level of the animal kingdom. The human in love, however, is a different beast altogether, existing somewhere between a guppy and a wood tick in terms of rational thoughts.

Whether it's locking your keys in your car, singing in public or talking to yourself in the mirror, we all agree that love makes man and womankind do some pretty unusual things. Unfortunately it can also cause us to act against our best interest, something we intelligent creatures are not used to doing. Staying in a relationship passed our welcome, getting into relationships with the wrong people, we've experienced that at one point or another.

So, if love does cause a kind of short circuit in our ability to reason, how can we enjoy the thrilling free fall of an affair without crash landing in enemy territory? There must be a way to bridge the gap between our wildest desires and our better interests.

Love on the Brain
Most of us like to keep the division of labor well defined when it comes to the internal workings of love. The heart handles emotional matters while the brain is responsible for remembering his phone number and keeping your tongue in line when he sits down next to you. But let's get realistic; the heart is really just a feisty little muscle that pumps blood. It's the brain that runs the show.

The Alligator, the Gorilla and the Computer
Since the early 1950's, scientists studying the human brain have theorized that there may be more than one command center in our heads. These experts believe that the brain found in modern man's cranium is really three brains in one.

The most primitive part of our brain resembles that of a reptile, controlling all the basic functions of the body — heartbeat, breathing pattern, survival instincts, etc. The next lobe of the brain is called the limbic region found only in mammals. It is here that the pain and pleasure centers live. The limbic region controls how we feel, our current moods and "emotional memory." Finally, the neo-cortex, or rational mind, comprises the third lobe of the brain. Unique to humans, the neo-cortex processes all the signals from our five senses — smell, sight, taste, touch and sound. It also is in charge of our reasoning and opinions much like a super-computer crunches numbers.

Why Love Trumps Reason
No information can reach the rational part of your brain without first passing through the limbic region. Therefore this passion center of the brain has the power to control rational thought and color it with emotional hues when confronted with extreme situations like love or danger.

What people refer to as love at first sight or the excitement of a new relationship is really the release of hormones and endorphins triggered by the limbic region of the brain without permission of the neo-cortex. It is an emotional hijacking of the rational brain and it feels strange, wonderful and crazy all at once.

What's Love Got to Do With It?
Even though all this science makes the book of love seem as pre-scripted as a color-by-numbers book, it doesn't have to take all the fun out of falling in love. Physiology and neurology do their part to explain behavioral patterns that have existed since Adam asked Eve, "hey, come here often?" Recognizing the patterns won't turn your love life into a cliché. Instead, it points out clues about your own body and mind.

Think of Tickle's Romantic Pattern test as a bridge between the logical neo-cortex and the emotional limbic region of the brain. The more you understand where your own experience fits into the eight basic romantic patterns, the sooner your logical brain can lend a hand to one of the most illogical and absolutely amazing aspects of life: love.






Ya, faktor F, fear factor.

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