Sunday 27 July 2008

Spare time

Have you ever felt that being a nice person can be so tiring?

Yes or No? Maybe never even think about it?

I'll be really happy to know if there is somebody out there feeling the same, hahahah :)).

It's natural role that a nice one attracts many things,,, and when I write many, it is really a big MANY. That many includes unexpected things. It's nice to have a lot of surprises in life, dancing in balance with world, feeling happy and sad, yeah... a normal life. But there is one limit to just convey... I am tired, simply tired.

Being brave, patient, friendly, carefully choosing words, behave well... those kind of things for sure consume a lot of energy. In one way or another, those attitudes please people. Not to mention that they will start showering you with love. But as Queen said too much love will kill you, cause in fact love is always accompanied with demand, sometimes unreasonable ones. In first move, I try to understand... there must be reason, a good one, in someone's act, I have to bear it, I have to understand it, I have to be nice, I have to ... I have to... I have to....
Until far far away in a lonely corner... I feel tired. Right in one simple thought to decide... I need my me time, I want to be alone, I want to enjoy life... peacefully.

Isn't it normal if there is time that I do need to be alone? I still don't understand why some people insist or even complain when I don't reply their messages soon... :-/ . I am also human being, when I act nice, that doesn't always mean that everything in me is also in nice state. When I say life is good, that doesn't always mean that I don't have any problem to face. When I smile nicely, that doesn't always mean that I am happy. When I could run all the way to give you a really happy interesting story, that doesn't always mean that I am in the mood to talk that long. Sometimes I do those kind of things to remind my self that there must be something good in everything, it's just that I don't find it yet. Sometimes just to emphasize that I may not trouble other person about what I actually feel, that I have to feel suffice to know that other people is still alright, that I don't spread any sadnesses to them.

So, what can you conclude from that behavior and habit? If you socialize quite well, you will know exactly that a person like that is the most lonely person on earth. People think they shower the person with love and care, but the fact is they push the person even closer to a lonely corner. If you learn psychology a bit more, you will also know... the most caring person is actually the person who needs to be taken care most. Someone who is a great listener is actually longing for somebody who can hear him/her greatly. Someone who smiles a lot is sometimes a person full of sadness. Someone who cheers you up everytime is actually a person who needs to be cheered up more than anyone. Somebody who always supports you is actually the one who needs your support very much.

Yeah, can't help it. It's just about how high your sensitivity is, to the things around you, to your beloved ones. A nice proverb reminds us clearly... sometimes we realize that something is really important, meaningful,,, right after we lose it. You don't want to realize that important thing after it's gone, do you? That's why, better trying to treasure everything coming to your life, no matter how unimportant it is :). A coin always has two sides, and it's always better to feel grateful with whoever you are. I guess life is always changing. Everything changes, the thing that remains unchanged is the change itself. So, no time for peace? I don't know either. One simple thought I try to remember by heart: Woman should be strong... in future, she has to support her husband, she has to take care of their children, she has to ... she has to... she has to...
Yeah, whatever... but I'm really grateful to have tears, cause I can use it whenever I want :D.

Last week on Wednesday, there were two chemistry lecturers coming to RuG, along with some Ollimpiade students, huhuhu ... miss Bandung so much. On Thursday night, watching The Dark Night, yuppyyyy... a very good movie, worth to see. Friday night, bowling for two hours, hahahaha I still feel something wrong with my right hand, maybe the bowling ball is still too heavy for me, even the S one, heheh.

What I do in my spare time, ngg... mostly interneting. Watching movies, anime, asian drama, and of course youtube. Others like kompas, detik, yaa... whatever in the mood to browse something, that includes online shopping :D. My interest on youtube lately is about hair, eyes, and skin care, heheheh. The nicest thing about having a long hair is that you can decorate it whatever style you want. About the eyes thing, I always wonder how people apply eyeliner easily 8-| ... pen is alright, but liquid one? Geez... that really needs huge effort. About the make up things,,, I actually hate it. I mean.. you don't want those strange ingredients clog your pores, do you? For me, if one wants to have a slightly different look, then applying a glittery lip gloss on your lips, applying a simple eyeliner and mascara on your eyes will suffice. Just forget about foundation, blush on and eye shadow-related if you really love your skin. I know very well, that there is at least one who complains about this womanly thing. But come on... a lady should know how to be more beautiful, and of course not for you, but for her husband :P. Anyway, I always keep in mind that natural simplicity is always charming.

On Friday, I picked up my package, another online shopping matter :D. I don't consider shopping as wasting money, I consider it as investment. This is what I bought from ebay:

- A big box, charged with 19% Holland tax, hiks :(. A lot of letters on top represent a lot of charges that should be paid :))

- Tadaaaaa, nice tool kit

- Full of things....

Anyway, this toolkit is really nice. Having this kind of thing... ngg... I remember my father, he has such tool kit, of course containing some screw drivers and other machine tools. I used to want to have one, hahaha, it's just cool to have tool kit, like having magic box :)).

So, in case I have spare time, in case that I want to rest a little while from daily scientific world... being in the kitchen can be refreshing. Moreover, with this tool kit, I can make cute cakes, hehehehe. Like this one perhaps, a Wilton's creation:

Yummy... :D . Decorating cake is good to train patience :)). Heheheh...ganbatte !!!

One more thing, here is the documentation of some of deGromiest Online's talks. I am sorry, one of the record is not too good, cause I typed in conference room while recording it, so there is keyboard sound on it, annoying... sorry :(.

Topik: Cake Related
Nara Sumber: Teh Intan
Waktu: Sabtu 26 Juli 2008, 19.00 CET

Topik: Tips Menjaga Kesehatan Kulit
Nara Sumber: Mbak Mira
Waktu: Minggu 29 Juni 2008, 20.00 CET

Topik: Menggapai Pernikahan Barokah
Nara Sumber: Mbak Nona
Waktu: Jum'at 16 Mei 2008, 19.00 CET

Topik: Menjadi Pasien Cerdas, Mengapa Perlu?
Nara Sumber: Mbak Agnes
Waktu: Minggu 27 April 2008, 20.00 CET

Topik: Tips Memasak Enak, Cepat, Murah, dan Bergizi
Nara Sumber: Teh Nisa
Waktu: Minggu, 16 Maret 2008, 20.00 CET


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