Thursday 5 June 2008


There is time...
I want to say hi to everything in this world,
to every knowledge within it,
to every moment and memory,
to my beloved ones.
Though one hi might not be enough to show...
how meaningful they are
how deep I treasure them all.

But what if...
today is the last day?

Right after waking up, I wonder... will today last?
In front of the mirror, sometimes I whisper... am I ready enough to leave this world?
After the door key clicked, within a smile I decide... today must be happier than yesterday, bismillah.

Every time I see the outside world,,, the plants, the air, the sound of birds... I can feel they say hello to me. Saying a sweet reminder... there is no point of being sad, no reason to feel lonely, we are always here, with you.

With a deep breath, I wonder... was my last night pray good enough compared to them? They... with their own ways, always pray to Allah, with modesty. And me... were all the previous prays good enough compared to them? Somehow I feel afraid,,, it's just so unutterably afraid.

When I see people laughing, chit-chatting... somewhat I think... yeah, being happy is the best way to face the world, being afraid is something that should be covered up. It's just funny to think... someway the world might hurt or entertain so much, but in the end... I am the one who will take responsibility of every thing around me. Such that for no reason, I feel so tired.

In the night, when the silence covers most part of the sky, too quite that so many things flashing around into my mind. Suddenly some of the tears come down, with one whisper... will I meet my tomorrow day? Am I ready to explain and take responsibility of everything in front of Allah?

I am such so afraid to think of it.


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